Know Your Kingdom Hearts Stars
by hopefuldreamer1991
Summary: Based off of the All That sketch 'Know Your Stars," we take a look into the lives of our favorite Kingdom Hearts characters and learn some 'facts' about their personal lives. Or do we...? Suggestions for characters and ideas are welcome.
1. Chapter 1- Sora

**This is based off the old Nickelodeon show All That sketch called 'Know Your Stars'. I'm a child of the 90's, so after all of the original cast left the show and was replaced with a new one, the show kinda stunk; however, this one sketch from the new cast was pretty good (even though nothing could beat the Vital Information sketch, you 90's kids know what I mean ;)) Basically, they would take a celebrity, and they would have a narrator say false facts about them, and the celebrity would argue back, ie Britney Spears. If you're young and have no idea what I'm talking about, it can be found on YouTube.**

**I'll also take character suggestions and ideas in the comments :) **

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Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Sora..."

Sora: "Hey guys!" (Shown close up sitting on a stool on a dark stage).

"Sora never takes a bath."

"Um...yeah, that's not true. I take personal hygiene VERY seriously!"

"He only kisses goats!"

"What?! That's ridiculous! I kiss my mom every night!"

"Sora is secretly in love with Riku!"

"What a minute! That's insane! It's KINDA obvious I'm in love with Kairi! I was just relieved because I did not know whether he was dead or alive for over a year!"

"He aspires to one day be a clown."

"I do not! I cannot help that the animators drew freakishly large shoes for me!"

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

"THEY DO NOT! Alright, that's it! Are you looking for a fight?! I've been chosen by the keyblade, I can take care of you voice! Wherever you are! Come on out! Show yourself..." Camera starts backing away.

THE END


	2. Chapter 2- Kairi

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

Kairi..."

Kairi: Just sits on stool and smiles.

"Her hair is made out of spaghetti."

"That's obviously not true, if it were the seagulls would have eaten it all by now."

"She talks to her pillow every night before she goes to bed."

"Um, pardon?"

"She even rubs it as she serenades it."

"Whoa voice! I don't talk to inanimate objects!" (tries to keep cool).

"Its name is Pookie."

"I don't even know how to respond to that..."

"Kairi...she's secretly in love with Axel!"

"What?!" (begins to lose cool).

"She has a shrine of Axel in her bedroom."

"It's kind of obvious I love SORA! Ooops..." Kairi blushes as she didn't want anyone to know that.

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

Kairi just sits on the stool and cries as the camera begins to back away.

THE END


	3. Chapter 3- Xigbar

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Xigbar..."

Xigbar: "Sup?"

"Xigbar hides candy behind his eyepatch!"

"Ha! As if! There is an injured and nonfunctional eyeball thanks to that darkbreed keybearer Terra!"

"The only woman he's ever loved is his mom."

"Give me a break! Given the fact that I'm a nobody, I CAN'T love!"

"His guns shoot out string cheese!"

"Pardon? They're DEADLY WEAPONS!"

"Xigbar is turned on by the chicken dance."

"What?! WHY I OTTA..." Suddenly, the chicken dance comes on from an unknown source, and Xigbar starts dancing, seemingly in a trance.

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

THE END


	4. Chapter 4- Roxas

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Roxas..."

Roxas: "Hello!" *Roxas waves politely*

"Roxas wears the same lucky underwear every day!"

"EW...what?! Definitely not true!"

"He is obsessed with Jesse McCartney."

"Come again?! Mr. Beautiful Soul?! I cannot STAND the guy! He's even worse than that Bieber kid!

"Roxas even has a Jesse shrine in his closet."

"Who do you think I am, Helga G. Pataki?!"

"Roxas is secretly bald."

"Are you kidding me! LOOK AT THIS HAIR!"

"He's wearing a whig."

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A WHIG TO YOU, VOICE?!" *starts ridiculously tugging at his hair with both hands, does it hard and painfully enough that his eyes begin to tear*

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

*Keeps tugging hair* "THEY...DO...NOOOOOOOT!" Camera starts backing away.

THE END

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**Sorry if some of you don't understand the Hey Arnold reference. It's that 90's Kids in me :) Rate, review, and if you want me to do a certain character, leave it in the comments! **


	5. Chapter 5- Riku

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Riku..."

(Riku simply nods to the camera)

"Riku loves dressing like a girl."

"WHAT?!" Riku exclaimed, "I thought we were letting fans know interesting FACTS about us, not FANTASIES!"

"He is a cross dresser in secret."

"Are you talking about my darkness suit?! Because I was POSSESSED!"

"Riku likes to practice beauty school haircuts. On himself."

Riku tried to remain calm on the outside, but he clinched his fist as he felt himself get angry. _I'll KILL Sora for making me come here_, he thought.

"Riku is in love with Sora."

"That would _never _happen. Sora loves Kairi. And I like girls."

Suddenly a bunch of fangirls flood the stage, and they all try to flood Riku in a wave at once.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Riku screamed, and he jumped of the stool and ran of the stage. His many fangirls followed after him screaming.

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

(As the camera starts to back away, a scream is heard, and one girl can be heard shouting "_I got one of his socks!_")

THE END

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**Sorry for the long delay, finishing college and graduating takes up a lot of time. Not to mention Student Teaching :) If you want to see a certain character or if you have any ideas, please feel free to leave them in a review. I know I have a request for Ventus that I plan on doing next. Also, if you have never seen the Know Your Stars segment from All That, look it up on YouTube, that's the type of format I based this story off of so I want to make sure everybody understands that.**

**And unlike many, I like Riku's shorter hair. But there was no way I could leave that gag out, hehe! Peace Out :)**


	6. Chapter 6- Ventus

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Ventus..."

(Ventus displays a big teeth grin and waves a cheesy wave to the camera)

"Ventus uses seven pounds of hair gel each morning."

"Hehe, it actually stands up like that naturally," Ventus said while tugging his hair at the top.

"His real name is Benjamin."

"Um, where would I get Ventus from Benjamin?! Ventus is my real name, or just 'Ven' for short."

"He has a secret twin. They were separated at birth."

"Are you talking about Vanitas?! Because we're definitely NOT twins!"

"His name is Roxas."

"Who the heck is Roxas?!"

_Roxas suddenly walks on the stage. He begins talking fast like a chipmunk. _"I'm Roxas. You're heart has been inside Sora, but when he lost his heart during his sacrifice for Kairi, you lost his heart too (wait a wonderful guardian, yo), and a nobody (the body of the person that previously lost their heart) was created because of this, but your heart found its way to me when he lost his heart, which is why we look exactly alike. We ain't twins, bro." _Roxas quickly walks of the stage. _

"Okay...thanks...I think...errgh..." Ventus looks really confused and he holds his head as if he has a headache.

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

"Do they know me?!..." Ventus asks as the camera starts to back away. "Do I even know me?!..."

THE END

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Thanks KHLegacy for your idea about Benjamin and the hair gel!


	7. Chapter 7- Marluxia

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Marluxia..."

(Marluxia scoffs at the camera, clearly not wanting to be there)

"Marluxia's favorite food is pickled pigs' feet."

"Um...you may want to talk to Demyx about that...ew."

"He dyes his hair pink once a week."

"I'm a natural pink head in reality...unfortunately this leads to most crazy fangirls believing that..."

"Marluxia is gay..."

"THAT! Where are you, voice?!"

_Marluxia gets off of his stool and walks backstage._ "THERE YOU ARE!" _Marluxia is heard saying. A few seconds later, he walks back on stage and sits down._

"Ow..." the voice said. "Umm, sorry Marly but I have to follow the script. Marluxia...(_the mysterious voice sounded scared and nervous_) is in love with Larxene."

"THAT DOES IT! NUMBER ONE, IF I'M GAY (WHICH I'M NOT!), _HOW _COULD I LOVE LARXENE?! AND TWO, I'M A NOBODY! I HAVE NO HEART! I CAN'T LOVE!"

_WITH THAT, MARLUXIA SUMMONS HIS SCYTHE, AND HE BEGINS TO HIT THE CAMERA OVER AND OVER AGAIN. THE PICTURE THEN GOES TO STATIC, AND A BLUE SCREEN SHOWS UP THAT SAYS _"WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAY TUNED.

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Make sure to review which character you want to see :) I have Vanitas, Axel, and Xemnas requested, so expect to see them soon!


	8. Chapter 8- Master Xehanort

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Master Xehanort..."

"I WILL HAVE THE KEYBLADE!"

"He was bald even as a child."

"Actually I was quite the silver-headed fellow, I had a head full of it!"

"Master Xehanort has a tattoo above his butt."

"The only thing I have tattooed to me is my desire for Kingdom Hearts!"

"It says I love Mom."

"Well she was a fabulous woman..."

"Master Xehanort loves being chased by fluffy kittens!"

"What?! That's ABSURD! I..." _suddenly a dozen fluffy kittens come running and meowing on the stage. MX jumps of the stool and starts running around and laughing uncontrollably as the adorable kittens chase him around. After about 10 seconds, MX trips over his shoelaces and he falls on his head, and the little kittens start climbing all over him as the camera starts backing away. And he is knocked unconscious. Again. _

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

THE END.

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Thanks to KHLegacy for another great idea! And I couldn't resist the 'Bored' reference :)


	9. Chapter 9- Xemnas

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Xemnas..."

"Anger and hatred are SUPREME!"

"...Yeah dude...whatever..."

"but...they are..."

"You're living proof of that, right? I mean, you can see where that philosophy got you..."

Xemnas: "..."

"Xemnas' favorite color is pink."

"Actually, that's incorrect. My favorite colors are black and white. The colors of nothing."

"Xemnas is gay."

"How would you figure that, since I can not feel anything?"

"You cannot fool me, I played Dream Drop Distance. You do know what your name spells when the letters are rearranged, right?"

_Xemnas stops to think about this... _"...YOU'RE SICK!"

"Xemnas is afraid of chihuahuas."

"NO I'M NOT! THAT IS ABSURD! I..." _Just then, a chihuahua dog wearing a bow and a tutu comes running on the stage, and Xemnas gets a frightened look on his face. The dog then barks, scaring Xemnas._

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" _Xemnas then jumped off of his stool and sprinted of the stage. The dog, thinking he was playing, chased after him, barking as he ran along. _

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

THE END.


	10. Chapter 10- Axel

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Axel..."

"It's _Lea_! Got it memorized!"

"Axel paints his hair red every morning. Using paint rollers."

"It's _LEA_! And I'm a natural ginger, thank you very much!"

"His real name is Ginger Ale."

"That's AXEL! Err...LEA!"

"Axel sleeps with a Roxas plushie."

"LEEEEEEEEEEEEA! And what?!"

"He kisses it every night?"

"Umm...have you noticed the age difference?! I'm NOT some kind of child predator! Get it memorized!"

"Axel enjoys serenading Saix."

"LEA! And you mean Isa...my ex-best friend?!"

"He even wears a cat suit when serenading him."

"THAT'S IT! WHERE ARE YOU! I'LL MAKE SURE YOU BURN BABY!"

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME, VOICE?! GET BACK HERE! I'LL MAKE IT STOP! TELL THEM THE TRUTH AND THAT I'M NOT SOME..." The camera starts backing away.

THE END.

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**I had several people make requests for Axel,** **so thanks for your ideas! I have quite a few requests right now, which is why I'm updating so quickly! Keep them coming :) So far, I have Vanitas, Xion, Saix, Terra, Aqua, Namine, and Young Xehanort coming up. Stay tuned!**


	11. Chapter 11- Vanitas

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Vanitas..."

"Ok, let's get this over with..."

"Vanitas breeds Yoshis."

"What the heck is a Yoshi?!"

_Producer comes out and shows him a picture of a Yoshi._

"AAAAAAHHHH! _WAY _TOO CUTE!"

"Vanitas' favorite television show is _My Little Pony."_

"ENOUGH OF THIS! TELL THEM ABOUT _ME_, ABOUT MY DARKNESS!"

"Vanitas is secretly Sora."

"Who the heck is that?!"

"He's the hero of this story."

_Sora suddenly walks on the stage. _"Hi, I'm Sora. We could be identical twins, no? Except you're darker, and scarier looking."

"THAT'S IT, I'M OUTTA HERE! WAY TOO MUCH LIGHT HERE!" _Vanitas then storms off the stage._

Sora pauses with a confused look on his face. He then looks to the camera: "Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

Mysterious Voice: "Hey, that's _MY_ line!"

_A trap door then appears underneath Sora, and he falls through it._

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The camera then starts to back away. "_I'M OOOOOHHH...KAAAAAYUH!_"

THE END.

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**I know I already updated earlier today, but since I have quite a few requests, I thought I would try to get this one done. I may do one or two more this weekend. **


	12. Chapter 12- Aqua

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Aqua..."

"Hello, everyone," Aqua says as she waves.

"Aqua dyes her hair with toilet bowl cleaner."

"What? Ew, that's disgusting! I'm actually a natural bluenette."

"She aspires to be a men's magazine model."

"Um, why would you say that?!"

"You wear a tight corset halter top and short tight booty shorts."

(_Aqua blushes_).

"Aqua is secretly a mermaid."

"What?!"

"Well your name is Aqua..."

"Well I didn't name myself! At the time of my birth, my parents took note of my blue eyes and hair; thus they thought of Aqua. Not the greatest idea, but..."

"She turns into a mermaid when she gets wet."

"DON'T YOU EVEN..."

_Suddenly, gallons of water falls down from the ceiling, landing on the female keyblade master. A threatening look appears on her face. _

"IF THIS ISN'T PROOF ENOUGH..."

"Aqua is in love with Terra."

"WHAT?! I, WE..."

_Suddenly, Terra comes out onto the stage and he kisses Aqua passionately. They keep doing that._

"UGH, I'm going to throw up! Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star," the voice says as the camera begins to back away.

THE END.


	13. Chapter 13- Namine

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Namine..."

_Namine giggles shyly. _

"Namine has 37 tattoos..."

"Well I do love art..." Namine started nervously, "but not so much on myself."

"One of them says 'I love you Roxas.'"

"Yeah...I don't have that...sorry..."

"Namine enjoys getting high off of markers."

"Huh?!"

"She's a sniffer."

"Only the scented ones, I swear!"

"She aspires to be a pole dancer when she grows up."

_Namine blushes innocently._

"Her stage name is 'Graceful Barbie."

"Um yeah, that isn't..."

_The Mysterious Voice kept going, thinking Namine was an "easy" target._

"Namine is really Kairi. She just dresses up like different characters for attention. She has a black wig to play Xion as well."

"No, I am..."

"WE WON'T STAND FOR THIS!" _Suddenly, Kairi and Xion walk onto the stage and comfort Namine. _"We'll make sure he doesn't bother you anymore." _The girls walk backstage and a loud scream is heard._

"AHHHHHHH!"

_The girls walk back onto the stage._

_Kairi: _"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star. Well not really, but we're done here."

_Xion: _"Buh Bye!"

_The three girls smile and wave as the camera backs away._

THE END.


	14. Chapter 14- Saix

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Saix...

"I don't even know how or why I'm here..."

Saix's favorite TV show is _Laguna Beach_."

"Why would I waste my time watching a show about bratty, spoiled rich kids?!"

"The 'X' on his forehead is magic marker."

"Why I would waster my body on some childish activity is beyond me..." _Saix's beserk mode is now halfway full. _

"Saix is Xemnas' personal slave."

"I serve in the Organization for only one purpose: to regain my heart." _Saix's beserk mode is now 3/4 full._

"He even has his own set of fuzzy pink handcuffs."

"THAT'S IT!" Saix screamed. _He was now in full on beserk mode. "MOON, SHINE DOWN!" He summoned his claymore and went, well beserk. Holes were made in the stage, the curtain was slashed up, and a big mess was left._

Mysterious Voice: "Now now, Saix, it's not really in the budget for us to..."

_With that, Saix swung his claymore at the camera, and the screen went to static. A BLUE SCREEN SHOWS UP THAT SAYS _"WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAY TUNED.


	15. Chapter 15- Zexion

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Zexion...

_Zexion doesn't respond as he's just sitting on the stool, reading his book._

Zexion's favorite book is _Fifty Shades of Grey_."

"I only read REAL literature, not porn disguised as novel reading."

"His somebody name is Bozo."

"No, it's IENZO! Take the name, rearrange the letters, add the 'X', you get Zexion."

"Zexion is an emo clown."

"Now what would tempt you to say that?!"

"Your hair style. Plus it's blue."

"Sorry, but I can't take responsibility for how the animators drew me."

"Zexion is obsessed with Nyan Cat."

"What the heck is that?!"

_Suddenly, the music is heard playing, and the Nyan Cat jumps on the stage, prancing around._

"PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!" _Zexion uses the book to cover his ears._

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

"Wait a minute, no they don't! They don't know a thing about me! You did not state one single fact, you..." As he keeps arguing, the camera begins to back away. The Nyan Cat is still prancing on the stage as the song still plays.

THE END.


	16. Chapter 16- Demyx

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Demyx..."

"YO!"

"Demyx's only friend is his sitar."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! Ok, yeah it kinda is..."

"He only plays country music on his sitar."

"Ok, that would be a lie. I like to ROCK N' ROLL!"

"Demyx's nobody was a circus animal."

"NO IT WASN'T! HE WAS A CIRCUS CLOWN! SO HA!"

"He acts lazy to try and impress Larxene."

"Yeah...she scares me." *shudders.*

"Demyx is stupid and has no talent."

"No talent? NO TALENT?! HOW'S THIS FOR NO TALENT?!" _With that, Demyx summoned his sitar, and began playing 'We Will Rock You' by Queen. Loudly._

..."Demyx?!" _Demyx keeps playing. _

..."DEMYX!" He adds head banging to his performance.

"Now you can say that you know your..." Demyx became so excited rocking out that he sprayed gallons of water at the camera. The picture became blurred, _AND A BLUE SCREEN SHOWS UP THAT SAYS _"WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAY TUNED.

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**Thanks for the idea the Nobody 0!**


	17. Chapter 17- Lexaeus

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars..

...Lexaeus..."

"..."

"Lexaeus is secretly a female body builder."

"..."

"He is president of the Selena Gomez fan club."

"..."

"Lexaeus loves baby animals."

"..."

"He especially loves baby ducklings."

_A little yellow duckling then comes waddling on the stage quacking. Lexaeus picks up the baby duck and pets it. _

"Lexaeus isn't potty trained."

"..."

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

_Lexaeus looks straight into the camera, his expression unreadable. He looks straight at the lens, and then punches it. A loud "OW!" is heard, and the screen becomes staticy. _


	18. Chapter 18- Terra

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Terra..."

"I'm not a bad guy! I promise!"

"Terra is secretly a girl."

"Seriously?! Look at these muscles! I'm a man! I can't help it that my parents gave me a girly name!"

"He loves to watch Dr. Phil every day while eating strawberry ice cream."

"Who?! And who doesn't love ice cream?!"

"Terra's celebrity crush is Miley Cyrus."

"Um she looks like Draco Malfoy now. And I think Chapter 12 made it _pretty _obvious that I love Aqua!"

"Any Hannah Montana song turns him on."

"I am WAY to old to know any Hannah Montana songs!"

_Suddenly the Hannah Montana theme song 'The Best of Both Worlds' plays out of nowhere, and a microphone is thrown to Terra. It hits him in the head and falls to the floor. He stands up, picks up the microphone, and begins singing and dancing._

"_You get the limo out front! Hottest styles, every shoe, every color..."_

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star," the voice says as the camera begins to back away. _Terra continues singing and dancing._

_"You get the best of both worlds! Chill it out, take it slow! Then you rock out the show!"_

THE END.


	19. Chapter 19- Xion

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Xion..."

"Speak away!"

"Xion is living an emo goth lifestyle."

"Why would you say that?! Just because my hair is black and my robe is black does not mean I am goth!"

"She has made out with Roxas and Axel multiple times."

"Um, they're my best friends, nothing more. And remember how Kairi and I took care of you in chapter 13?! Want a repeat?!"

"She thinks Roxas is the best kisser."

_Xion just sits there trying not to explode._

"Xion will never be anything more than a puppet, so she is planning on auditioning to be a Muppet."

"THAT'S IT!" Xion screamed. _She snapped her fingers, and suddenly the armor she wore fighting Roxas at the end of 358/2 Days appeared on her, and she started slashing it at everything in sight._

Ms Piggy: "Does that mean your audition will be cancelled?!"

"We're gonna have to raise more money for the remodeling budget," the Mysterious Voice said. _Xion kept slashing until she finally hit the camera and the screen goes staticy, AND A BLUE SCREEN SHOWS UP THAT SAYS _"WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAY TUNED.


	20. Chapter 20- Young Xehanort

"Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Young Xehanort..."

"Let's get this over with..."

"Young Xehanort has pink hair under his wig."

"No...I'm a natural silver. As is my nobody and heartless..."

"He screams like a girl."

"Yeah, right. I don't scream." _Suddenly, a spider crawls below him."_

"AHHHHHHHHH! Get it away! Get is AWAY!" he screamed while stomping the spider.

"He is the weakest member of the new Organization XIII."

"Yeah, I believe I gave Riku a run for his money. Was I not one of the most difficult bosses in Dream Drop Distance?!"

"Young Xehanort secretly aspires to be a ballerina."

"NO, I ASPIRE TO HELP MY FUTURE SELF FORGE THE KEYBLADE AND START THE KEYBLADE WAR!"

_Suddenly, The Flower Waltz from 'The Nutcracker' plays on the speakers, and Young Xehanort can't help but get up and start dancing gracefully. _

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star," the voice says as Young Xehanort continues dancing, the camera backing away.

THE END.

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**Ok, I know I had already updated today, but I had received quite a few requests, so I that's why I've been updating this story a lot lately. Look for Luxord and Cloud up next, and of course I will take more requests! Thank you KHLegacy for another great idea! I don't own Kingdom Hearts or All That. And if you have time, go check out ****_Destiny and Dawn_**** puh-lease :)**


	21. Chapter 21- Luxord

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Luxord..."

"I'd rather we just skip the formalities."

"Luxord's somebody is Ansem the Wise."

"Yeah, just because we're both elegant blondes does not make me a part of him."

"His cards are his only friends."

"Nobodies have no use for friends. We only work together to win the prize that is our hearts."

"He talks to his cards every night before he sleeps."

"The cards do not have ears..."

"Luxord has a serious gambling addiction."

"The only thing I am addicted to is the game of life."

"He steals money from the other Organization XIII members just pay for his gambling fees at the racetrack."

_Luxord's face becomes red. _"N-n-not true!"

"Oh really?" the voice said.

_Suddenly, all of the other Organization XIII members walk on the stage, from Xemnas all the way to Xion. They all look mad. _

"Hey ol' chaps," Luxord began, "What is going on?"

_All at once, all of the other Organization XIII members summon their weapons._

"Get 'em," Axel mumbled.

_All at once, all of the members jump on top of Luxord, breaking the stool he's sitting on. A giant dust cloud is formed over the fight, and occasionally an arm or leg is seen swinging out of it as stars fly out._

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star," the voice said as the camera backed away.

THE END.

* * *

**I had a few people give me suggestions for Luxord, so thank you both! Up next is Cloud! Stay tuned...**


	22. Chapter 22- Cloud

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Cloud..."

"I'm really not interested in being here..."

"Cloud believes that AVALANCHE is an elite ski resort in Colorado."

"I'm sorry...what?!"

"In between KHI and KHII, Cloud had his bat wing surgically removed."

"No...You can ask the animators where that went because I really have no idea."

"Cloud is in love with Tifa."

"...Excuse me?"

"But he won't marry her because he knows that she can kick his but in karate."

"Yeah. Sure. Believe what you want."

"Cloud is a cross dresser."

"What?!"

"We have photos of you with Aerith to prove it." The photos are shown on the top-right corner of the TV screen.

"..." _Awkward silence. _"I am so out of here." _Cloud stands up and walks of the stage._

Producer: "...Now what?"

Voice: "...check out this commercial from our sponsor!...Quick, get the commercial on...!"

**_THEY'RE LOUD! THEY'RE MEAN!_**

**_THEY TURN MILK GREEN!_**

**_YOU OPEN UP THE SPOUT_**

**_AND POUR THEM OUT,_**

**_REPTAR CEREAL! _**

**_IT MAKES YOU WANT TO SHOUT,_**

**_REPTAR!_**

**_WE WANT REPTAR! REPTAR!_**

"...Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

THE END.

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**Not my best one. But I really couldn't resist the Rugrats reference :)**


	23. Chapter 23- Leon

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Squall Leonhart."

"That's just Leon."

"Squall enjoys making cupcakes shaped like little bunnies on his days off."

"Beg pardon?! And that's _Leon_!"

"Squall got that scar on his face during a freak slip n slide accident."

"_Leon_! And I'm way too old for such childish games!"

"Squall's deepest darkest secret is that he enjoys singing the rubber ducky song from Sesame Street when he's alone in a room."

"_LEON! _And I do not."

"Our evidence proves otherwise, Squall, as does our surprise witness."

_Suddenly, Leon's girlfriend, Rinoa, walks on stage._

"Rinoa...what are you doing here?!"

"Don't be so bashful, Squall," Rinoa started, "While you weren't looking, I caught this video of you in the bedroom. ROLL FILM!"

_A video clip is shown on the top right hand corner of the TV screen. In the bedroom, Sesame Street is on the big screen, and Ernie is seen in the bathtub singing 'Rubber Ducky." Leon, in the meantime, is singing and dancing in the bedroom, wearing nothing but a towel and singing the 'Rubber Ducky' song in a hairbrush (like a microphone prop). Back on stage, Leon's face is red while Rinoa is smiling._

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star," the voice said.

Leon is unable to speak as the camera begins backing away, but Rinoa is smiling and waving.

"Say goodbye, Squall!"

"...Goodbye, Squall."

THE END.

* * *

**Thanks to agarfinkel for the Squall idea, as well as the idea to bring Rinoa on stage. As always, thanks for the reviews! Be sure to check out my contest! For more details, see my most recent chapter of 'Bored.' I already have several great entries and they've all made me laugh out loud! More details will be given later next week! Have fun writing! :)**


	24. Chapter 24- Larxene

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Larxene..."

"Phhh..."

"Larxene's hair is made out of bugs."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! TAKE THAT BACK!"

"Well you have antennae..."

"GRRRR...IT'S JUST MY HAIR STYLE!"

"She has a crush on Axel."

"SOMEBODY HERE IS ABOUT TO BE HURTING! BAD!"

"Uh...Larxene is the nicest, kindest nobody there is. She is very considerate of others, she is always willing to help, and she is a good mentor to the other members. Little forest animals flock to her, babies smile at the thought of her, and she is loved by everyone.

"That..."

_The voice's breathing steadies. He is afraid of Larxene, but he thinks he may have been able to save his behind. _

"...IS THE MOST INSULTING THING SOMEONE HAS EVER SAID ABOUT ME! HOW DARE YOU! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!"

_With that, Larxene starts going bezerk crazy. She begins sending lightning on everything and everyone. The stage begins smoking. She then strikes the camera, and as a loud "OUCH" is heard, THEn PICTURE THEN GOES TO STATIC, AND A BLUE SCREEN SHOWS UP THAT SAYS _"WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAY TUNED..


	25. Chapter 25- Xaldin

**Happy 4th! Hope yours had been great (and not wet like it has been all day here)!**

**Shout out to agarfinkel for one of the ideas. **

**100 reviews?! o_O Thanks guys, you rock!**

**Be sure to check out my newest story ****_Give Me Your Heart _****if you haven't already :)**

* * *

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Xaldin..."

"YOLO."

"Xaldin's dreadlocks are actually made out of horse hair."

"They are _actually_ made out of human hair. How could horse grow out of my head?!"

"He cries easily during chick flicks and films of baby animals."

"Are you kidding?! I'm a rock! I'm a nobody, and you need a heart to cry!"

_A film can be seen on the top right hand corner of the screen. The final scene from 'The Notebook' plays. Following that, pictures of baby hippos, dolphins, kittens, puppies, lambs, lions, chimpanzees, and piglets plays. At this point, Xaldin is boohooing like a small child._

"Whoever is chopping the onions, STOP!"

"Xaldin was planning on having illegal and inappropriate relations with Belle when he kidnapped her."

"What do you mean?!" _Xaldin stops and thinks. _"You're...sick!"

_At that moment, the Beast runs onto the stage roaring. He knocks Xaldin off of his stool and he attacks him on the floor._

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star," the voice says as the camera begins backing away, the Beast still seen attacking. Xaldin then screams like a little girl.

THE END.


	26. Chapter 26- Vexen

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Vexen..."

"I'm the intellectual portion of this show, by the way..."

"Vexen thinks he's a middle aged woman."

"Whatever do you mean?!"

"You have long flowing blonde hair. And your voice sounded very feminine during the Gameboy Advance version of _Chain of Memories._"

"I can't help that! They didn't ask me to voice myself! And I thought this hair made me look like Brad Pitt, or Legolas."

"More like a creeper..."

"Hey!"

"Vexen likes to freeze over the entire castle during the winter."

"Only once. Or twice! I just wanted to ice skate, like in _Tom and Jerry_!"

"He especially likes to freeze over Axel's room."

"That's because I don't like that pyromaniac! And once he melts all the ice with his fire, his room is flooded haha!"

"Vexen's favorite movie is _Bratz._"

"I am too intellectual to care for such little girl interests!"

"Then how do you explain this picture?!"

_A picture is shown of Vexen's closet, which includes a large case filled with Bratz dolls and a sign that says Vexen's Bratz world._

"Where did you...AXEL!" Vexen screamed.

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

"They do not! You told them nothing of my scientific genius, nor of the replica program! Come back you..." The camera backs away as Vexen's mic is cut off.

THE END.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed! I also posted my first crossover oneshot today, so be sure to go check that out! I won't say what it is, but it involves talking animals, small town silliness, a theme song that says "Hey!" a lot, and a random singing moose that plays guitar. I also updated ****_Give Me Your Heart _****late last night, so be sure to go check that out as well :)**


	27. Chapter 27- Ansem the Wise

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Ansem the Wise..."

"I hope that my time here will offer everyone a true insight on the heavy responsibilities of being an effective ruler."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Ansem the Wise only wore the bandages under the guise as 'DiZ' because he had a bunch of disgusting zits."

"I have not had a blemish since my teenage years. I wore them for my own protection as I was in hiding."

"He has a strange rat fetish."

"I have never even owned a lab rat. I have a mouse king as a friend, but I do not think that counts as a 'fetish.'"

"Ansem the Wise is from Middle Earth."

"Just because I coincidentally sound like a long-haired bearded villain (whom I do find quite handsome), that does not mean I am from Middle Earth."

"He really is Saruman under the guise of Ansem the Wise. He never really died, he just fled to Radiant Garden in hiding and created a new alias in the hope of taking over a different world."

"..."

"...You heard is right! DiZ was an alias of an alias!"

"I am leaving now. Goodbye." _Ansem the Wise walks off the stage._

"Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star." And the camera backs away.

THE END.


	28. Chapter 28- Zack

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Zack..."

"What's up?" _He stands up, does a few squats, then sits back down. _

"Zack only does squats because he has a bad case of hemorrhoids."

"Come again? I'm just training to one day become a hero!"

"He only trained in ancient Greece because he wanted to bring home a hundred cases of hummus."

"Ew, hate the stuff! Athens is where heroes are made!"

"Zack cheated on Aerith by asking Aqua out on a date."

"Who's Aerith?!"

_Suddenly, Aerith walks on stage. She looks angry and she slaps Zack in the face. Hard. He falls to the ground on his face._

"OW! What's with that?! I'm just a kid!"

_Aqua then walks on stage and kicks Zack in the head. Hard. And he's knocked unconscious. _

"Quick! Cut to commercial!" the Mysterious Voice squealed.

**_Lou can fix most anything! _**  
**_If your toaster's broke, _**  
**_And your phone won't ring._**  
**_Stu and Drew are breakin' toys,_**  
**_Smashin' walls and makin' noise, _**  
**_Someone call the cops! _**  
**_Yes they're fightin'! _**  
**_They're always fightin', it's so sad! _**  
**_A couple of crazy babies, torturin' their dad !_**  
**_Oh, they're fightin'!_**  
**_It'll drive you mad! _**  
**_Oh, yeah!_**

"...Now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

THE END.

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**Thanks argarfinkel for the Aerith idea. Yep, couldn't resist another Rugrats reference ;)**


	29. Chapter 29- Yuffie

Some mysterious voice over guy: "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars," (echos several times), "Know your Kingdom Hearts stars, know your Kingdom Hearts stars...

...Yuffie..."

"That's my name, don't wear it out!"

"Yuffie has a unhealthy obsession with Ron Stoppable."

"I'm sorry...who?!" _Shows picture_. "AGH! Too goofy for me!"

"She secretly aspires to be an elementary school janitor."

"Are you kidding me?! Not exactly a kiddo person! Besides, I'm a ninja!"

"Her favorite movie is _Good Burger_."

"That movies is so lame on so many levels!" _Suddenly, Ed from Good Burger Walks onto the stage holding a box with some food and drinks. _

"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger. Can I take your order?"

"Excuse me, we're on a stage in a studio, not some lame 90's sketch fast food restaurant." _Yuffie then stands up and ninja kicks the box out of Ed's hands._

"Uh, that will be eight bucks."

"You're not getting a dime!" Yuffie then looks into Ed's eyes, and is suddenly hypnotized with love. Ed does the same. "Has anybody ever told you that you have the prettiest eyes, and that your hat and uniform really bring out the best in you?"

"Uhhhh...no. But I did have spaghetti and wasabi for breakfast this morning. I was wearing my _Angry Beavers _underwear." The two walk off the stage with linked arms, leaving the mysterious voice confused."

"Uhhhh... now you can say that you know your Kingdom Hearts star."

THE END.

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**I know that was lame, but I'm running out of ideas! I have a suggestion for Cid as well, I'm just researching his appearance in other FF games since I haven't seen a lot of them. Stay tuned :)**


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